WK3 Wimba

Unfortunately, I was unable to make it to week 3 Wimba (Just love having a marching band that rehearses all day and night!). I did have an opportunity to contact two of my critical friends who unselfishly offered their precious time to review my Leadership Project. I am appreciative of their desire to assist me and the input provided to ensure this project is better prepared. Nothing is better than having extra eyes overlooking your masterpiece.

The first comment comes from Devloun Jeter:

 Hey Hunt,

Wonderful article! The fact that you are trying to use music web 2.0 tools to help increase the student’s knowledge and help motivate them is great. Many students today learn faster by actually doing things hands on along with the guidance from their teacher. Also the software you use is awesome, the group of students that access the web 2.0 tool all where able to do weekly lessons to help them become better musicians and showed them how to create composition. This article is a great read even though I don’t know much about music and creating compositions after reading this I did take a deeper look into the music web 2.0 tools, just to a take a closer look at how technology is changing in the music field. 

The second comment comes from Charlene Swoboda:

Hi, Hunt! You article reads nicely and adequately reflects the awesome, successful musical journey you had with your students. What an outstanding summary of your analysis, design development, implementation, and results, as well as ideas for the future. My comments are minor tweaks/grammatical suggestions.

Intro-

Line 3-Change to past tense. The purpose of the study was to …

Line 4- …through social networking, computer software use, (add the word use and then a comma) and peer…

…sight read advanced literature? Is literature the correct word to use? I don’t know since music is not my field but it sounded weird like you meant score or composition instead. This might be due to my own lack of musical knowledge/terminology. (When I think of lit I think of words rather than music.)

Change The development of sentence…

Research development for my project discovered better methodologies to motivate students and build their musical literacy.

Tech Advances paragraph 1, line 7

Not or but and-classwork and maintenance

Paragraph 2, lines 2,3…increased as well as academic performance.

Par 3, line 5…Bebell and Kay (add the date) since its more than 3 lines away from original reference. (It’s a rule of thumb for citations.)

Use either 1:1 or one-to-one, but stay consistent…in Maine’s statewide program,

It reads a little smoother then I think.

Dalgarno & Lee or Dalgarno, L? (2010)…next sentence a little clunky/awkward.

 Consider rewording …explained that when students explored environments which allowed for the observation and measurement of results as specific forces were applied to objects, students’ conceptual understanding improved.

Wow! I’ve never heard of Resource Theory. You mentioned that it included teachers and students. I think to make it really work it needs to include community, too, since as part of culture, we are community, too, and to think of it in this way, expands our resources. Interesting stuff.

Implementation Process-

Again use past tense.

Line 6- in case (add space)

Or their personal (add word computers or laptops.)

Ross, & Simpson…(add and sign)

Cycle 1 (space) and 2

The rest looks grammatically good and sounds smooth in reading. I don’t see an official “methodology” title to a specific paragraph heading, although all of your methodology is certainly there. I did the presentation verses the paper, but make sure the format is Ok for the assignment. All the info is there very thoroughly however. There just might be a bit too much detail for the overview. Then again, I love detail because it gives me a clear picture. (I’m in the process of cutting mine back some now.) Great paper and Good luck with publication! Charlene

Again, I do appreciate Dede and Charlene for overlooking my Leadership Project since I was unable to make it to the week 3 Wimba session. I will head back and revise my project and have it prepared to turn in on its due date.